Friday, August 11, 2006

I wish I was at Gencon.

That about says it all. Last summer I spent 5 days and about $900 on the best vacation of my life. I went to a big convention center in Indianna with thousands of other people like me and played minatures games, card games, rpgs, and talk shop til I could hardly stand. This year however my job situation has prevented me from attending, and it has me depressed out of my skull. So what do I do? I have spent the last two days, well probably 12-16 hours of the last two days glued to my computer and several forums countlessly refreshing firefox to find out all I can about the con. That con is called Gencon, and it is the place Privateer Press release the new expansion rules for warmachine every years. So the book came out, and I've gleaned all I can, unforuntately not enough(NO WHERE NEAR ENOUGH)(yes, I am an addict) but I'm missing things going on around me and the damn CON! It sucks to be me sometimes...

...Rant mode off...


-jay

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Where am I...

Is it friday night or a saturday morn... I'm not sure which it is anymore... I've been surfing and riding and cry and hiding and who knows what else for way to long. I need some reality to kick start my brain because I no longer know which way to is up and what is down. Crazy and Psycho and totally jumbled goes everything all in my head. Who am I? Where am I, How am I, Why am I, questions all gone to me now. No longer seeing and never believing I need to go hide in my bed. I can not know nothing but all I see empty, where is this place that I tread. I feel I'm missing, or lost and unseen visions clouded and gone. Who am I? How am I, unknown and forgotten, yet still hear lifeless and dead...

Friday, August 04, 2006

Alone...

Being left out of things can really make you feel shitty. My family does this to me alot. Sure I don't have the same interests as them all the time or the same tastes in food sometimes but their still my family. Tonight they barbecued Samon and Sword Fish which they knew was not something I like very much(I can't stomach the texture of fish, makes me feel sick to my stomach). Their right upstairs eating a conversing without me. Did I get an invite, even to sit and join them for conversation while they ate, no. This is happening more and more of late, which desturbs me. I really need to find a job so I can get out of this place.


-jay